Pretty Funny Jokes
Leprechaun Joke
So, this man walks into a public bathroom and goes up to a urinal. He can't help but notice the short man standing next to him. So, he surely can't help but notice the man's large penis.
The man says to the short man, "Excuse me, but I couldn't help but notice what a large penis you have."
The short man replies, "I am a leprechaun, and becuase you've talked to me, I will grant you three wishes."
The man is skeptical, but decides to go ahead and believe him anyway. He tells the leprechaun that he wants to live in a mansion.
The short man replies, "Tomorrow morning you will wake up in a mansion."
The man says, "Ok, I want a beautiful girlfriend."
"Tomorrow you will wake up next to a beautiful woman."
The man is still not 100% sure whether to believe him or not, but figures why not. "I want a penis as large as yours."
"Alright, but there's a catch, to that request"
"What's that?"
"You have to let me have sex with you."
The man thinks for a second, and figures that it was worth getting a penis that large.
The short man starts to do his thing, and the other man says, "I can't believe I'm gonna have a penis as big as yours."
The short man replies, "I can't believe you thought I was a leprechaun."
Mom Joke
John invited his mom over for dinner, and during the meal, she couldn't help but notice how beautiful John's roommate, Julie, was. She had already been suspicious of a relationship between John and his roommate, so this only made her more curious.
Throughout the evening, John's mom kept watching the interaction between her son and Julie. Knowing what his mother was thinking, John went ahead and assured her that he and Julie are only roommates.
A week later, Julie went to John and said, "Since your mom came to dinner the other night, I can't seem to find the silver gravy ladle. Do you think she could have taken it?"
John said, "Well, I doubt it, but I'll write her just to be sure." So he sat down and wrote, "Mom, I'm not saying you 'did' or 'did not' take a gravy ladle from my house, but one has been missing since you cam over for dinner the other night."
A few days later, John received a reply from his mom, which read, "John, I'm not saying that you 'do' or 'do not' sleep with Julie, but the if she was sleeping in her own bed, she would have found the gravy ladle by now."
